April.26.2011

I have had a pretty good day today ! I got my mid term report card , i got an A in PE , A in English, A in Planning, and a B in socials, and a C- in stagecraft ! (: So i did pretty well !.

I’m kind a worried, i know i shouldn’t be but of course its me ! I always worry about the littlest things anyways . I think Jeremy may be possibly annoyed with me ? .. im not sure, he may just be tired from work and such but who knows. Than again i do worry about too much.

My dad got my something for Easter .. A necklace and a Bracelet, i later find out that he found it from the lost and found of a school he cleaned up .. whatta cheap fuck , he makes me so disappointed sometimes, could he of least made an effort to give me some hope that he still wants me around ? .. Gives my brothers things that he bought and spent some time thinking about , but he gives me something he found randomly that didn’t have any thought put into . He was actually going to give it to his ex-girlfriend, but they ended up breaking up anyways .

Tomorrow is Jeremy’s and my one month together ! (: Time has passed by so much, whatta great month it has been , i am so happy with him (: He makes me so excited and giddy when i see him too (:

  Im starting to really miss my cousin .. I hope things work out and she decides that she still wants me in her life.. ):

April. 21. 2011

Today wasn’t that bad of a day actually, i had quite a bit of fun in socials, well it went by quickly. Than i walked to 711 with Jacy, and got lunch . But it was so cold ! It even snowed today ! ): It supposed to be spring, but no it decides it wants to snow. But than all of a sudden it was hot during the afternoon.. so weird ! I hope it sticks to being 17 degrees this weekend , that would be nice !

I gave Jeremy the Easter present i bought for him, i really hope he does like it. He said he really likes the baby blue teddy bear, ( : Its really cute , he named it Ducky. Whatta fruit cake , eh ?

I think tomorrow is Jeremy’s Easter dinner thing , I’m hoping i can go, i going to convince my mom to go to a movie with Randy so that i have more time to spend with Jeremy tomorrow, that is if he still wants to hang out with me, i really hope I’m not annoying him. I can tend to be annoying sometimes, i tend to annoy myself as well. loll, I’m still debating on seeing my dad this weekend, but I’m sure I’m not going to. I don’t need that kind of hurt and stress right now, my dad always finds a way to hurt me.. So i don’t want to have to deal with that again. He can see my brothers like he wants to anyways, he never had time for me and he never will.

My mom says that once i move out or get to the age where she doesn’t want me at home anymore she is going to move up north, the only thing that is stopping her from going is me, because i told her I'm not moving there just because i have all my schooling and career plans here, i can’t just pack up and leave and lose this opportunity. That would be just to insane, and i wouldn’t want to leave the family and friends i have here, not that i actually have to many friends here… I've lost contact with most of them, and well some of them are still pissed at me. Even thought the reasons are not that good. And on top of that, i don’t think I'd want to just pack up and leave Jeremy, that’s out of the question, i can already see a future here.

I’m going to start saving my money, yes i know .. i always say I’m going to do that.. But i always end up treating my friends or the guys that I’m dating at the time, its kind of an addiction for me.. Honestly i have spent more money on guys I’ve been with than any other person other than myself. I hope Jeremy doesn’t realize that, ha ha, because i really do like making people happy, and i find it difficult to find ways of making people happy, because i must be odd that way because i can never tell if something i do makes someone happy, but whenever i buy someone things they always seem so much more happier, i think that is why i spend money on other people. ITS AN ADDICTION … wow, now that i type all this out. i realize that it is.

Buuuut back to the point, i need to save my money. I’m getting a lot of money coming up here and I’ll probably spend some of it on Jeremy’s birthday present as well, but than I’ll save some of the money that i receive. Cause i want to buy something big ! Like money towards a car, or maybe to help pay towards my schooling, if i do get this apprenticeship.

 

   Quite an older picture, but oh well . I don’t feel like taking a picture right now .. Come to think of it, i need new pictures. I might do that tomorrow (:

April.19th.2011

I don’t want my kids to be fat Americans, so i am not going to be making a living off of McDonalds.

I wonder what its going to be like when i graduate and get a steady job, and I’m ready to get married and start a family, i really hope its all i can dream for. Because i can’t wait !

I hung out the my hunnie today (: The one, the only, JEREMY CHARD. (: He is such a sweetie, and makes me laugh and giggle all the time. When ever i am sad, just the thought of him being mine makes me happy. I can really see a future here, believe it or not. <3 Jeremy is my cuddle bunny, so i must buy him the Easter bunny ears i saw today in the store.

I bought Jeremy his Easter present today ! (: I’m not going to say what it is just yet thought because he might have the chance of reading this before i give him the present, so I'm not going to risk it , teehee.

Well today at school wasn’t as bad as i thought, other than the fact that i actually had to go.. lol, i lasted a FULL day in school .. mostly because Jeremy told me too, lmfao, and also because i don’t want to mess up my chances on getting the apprenticeship. I actually when to Baking class today, i made biscuits ! They were actually so good, actually i must say.. i didn’t make them, Kasey, my partner did.. She kind of took control and didn’t let me do anything ): But still at least she is a good baker (-:

Note to self: try and find food in the house so i can somewhat make lunches for school, i starve during the day… hopefully there will be money for my mom, cause we need it .. badly. I'm almost scared to eat the food because i think we are going to completely run out.

Jeremy Chard , isn’t he a cutie ! <3

April. 18th. 2011

Me and Jeremy’s one month will be on the 27th . its coming up so quickly, he has made this month so much happier for me, especially with everything that has been going on, with the step dad things, and the me wanting to move out, and with us having no money what so ever. Easter weekend is coming up pretty soon here, and I'm going to be having Easter dinner with Jeremy’s family (;

Jeremy’s family ( Cheryl and Mike) are so nice and funny, i feel like I'm fitting in already. Kaitl’n just informed me that she doesn’t want anything to do with me or Jeremy. That's her choice, i have not done anything to make her do that, but its how she feels at the moment, i know in the future she will take it back.

I don’t want to see my dad, who is coming up to visit this long weekend, hence the fact that i am staying with Jeremy instead of seeing him.

We are hopefully going to be moving back into town, i haven’t lived in town since i was 9! It will be much more easier that way, i can get a job and i can see my friends and boyfriend more.

I'm having a hard time staying in school , but i need to smarten up if i want to get into the cosmetology apprenticeship. NOTE TO SELF: get my fucking ass in class.