I'm still in a bit of pain , hopefully it goes away , i took some medication. It hasn’t kicked in just yet . I'm watching a movie with my mom , well sort of . Her DVD player sucks so it keeps on skipping WAY back whenever she hits pause , and that's been quite a bit since my brother Kobe keeps on interrupting , He should be going to bed soon anyways .
I wanted to go to school tomorrow , but i don't think i can cause well mom says i can’t because ill probably hurt myself i didn’t agree until i started hurting again. It sure does such. The movie froze again . I guess this DVD player isn’t going to work . Anyways i cant wait till the pain goes away . Cause i can’t laugh without it hurting really badly , and i laugh continually with no reason at all . Which pisses me off.
I will have to go to school on Monday , i hope i am not in much pain cause i have my Math exam , I'm going to study tomorrow , cause i honestly have to . Even though every time i tell myself I'm going to study i don't , I HAVE TO . I just have to force myself to than ill be on it for hours . I just need to push myself to do something like i always do , even if its a good or bad thing .
Joe should be here any day now i hope. I can wait for him, i don’t mind waiting, my feelings for him won’t change any time soon at all. I just hope he feels the same way about me when he sees me in person for the first time. He makes me so happy , i think that's why I'm not so depressed about the surgery or anything bad that has happened in my life lately . Cause i always have him to make me smile , which is great cause i know if i didn’t have him to talk to i would just be a dramatic mess right now. I honestly do think i love him, well its not that i think it i feel it . Is it strange that i love someone that i haven’t even met , or touched. I'm sure its a very powerful thing , my hopes are that he feels the same way i do. I'm sure he does, well at least he says he does . I wish i could read minds. Or maybe just read feelings.
I'm going to start birth control on Saturday , rather sooner than later even though i don't expect to be having sex anytime soon. Might as well be safe than sorry because i don't want to go through this pain ever again .
P.S . I have finally signed up for the talent thing , modeling .. I don't think it will work out . It seems like a joke for me , but maybe it will be something i enjoy doing .. who knows .
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