Yesterday it was confirmed that i am Pregnant . I can admit it to myself now . Mom is a little freaked out … I’m not sure exactly what I’m wanting to do .. but I think im going to keep the baby. Me and Ekco talked today, and she gave me a lot to think about. And I'm thankful that i don't feel like the only one who is or has gone through it . Amanda has but she recently had a kid, she hasn't faced most of the challenges.. and i realize that now. But its reality, I'm pregnant. And TJ is the father. I told TJ, at first he said that he will kill himself if i keep it, and that he wont want to be involved. But he hasn’t broken up with me.. yet. He said that he might stay, its just the one thing he told me sort of bothered me.. “ Just so you know…. i wouldn’t have said anything bad.. and i would stay if you could have just said “i love you” . And i know i have some sort of love towards TJ . I told him that , and he said that he might stay , i really want to know if he will or not ..
I'm quite scared to find out what Randy has to say to me.. Mom told him, and he texted me saying that. “we need to talk” Its frightening when someone says that to me.. But i guess i have to face it, especially if i choose to make a really big decision that is going to change my whole life , for my whole life. =\
TJ still is wanting to hang out with me, and talk. He invited me to come to his dads for New Years Eve . Hopefully it works out . (: No fighting and stuff. The one thing is, i kind of have to bail out of hanging with Kaitlin . Maybe i won’t have too . =) Who knows.
I Spent the night at Amanda's last night, we talked about a whole bunch. And i help Maya lots. Honestly i could picture myself doing that . I don't know, it just kind of feels right .
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