Well i broke down today , it was cause i finally realized that if i couldn’t admit it to myself that i was pregnant , OR anything like that , it means I’m for sure not ready to have a baby at 15. I’m going to get an abortion. Its the best thing to do , i still am a kid. It would be kind of weird, A kid having a kid…. =/. And i have so much time to have a kid (:.
When i become pregnant and am going to have a baby, i want to be excited and happy about it. Not scared about what people will think, and how im going to live at home with my parents, and finished high-school and everything. TJ is obviously happy about it . My mom i know she is not as stressed. Just Randy needs to find out, because he freaked out last night apparently.. which is horrible. He just got back from the hospital 4 in the morning.
School is on the 4th i think, and well im going to have to deal with it. Oh a weird random fact. Im bleeding, that could be a small sign that the baby is dying or that its just implantation bleeding.. Who knows…
Anyways , today i cleaned my WHOLE room, and i am now thinking about having a nap , or watching a movie. But my moms not home at the moment, so i guess im going to have to wait to have a nap. Im so tired though . Moms going to pick me up a movie to watch tonight … AGAIN I'm spending New Years Eve ON MY OWN !. Its kind a sad… 2009 i was alone.. 2010 i was dating Gary and he lives in prince Rupert… 2011 TJ is at home all the way in town and mom said i should stay home, just in case the baby dies in me and i have a lot of pain. Well i think im going to watch a movie or something.
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